Hello, my name is Norrms Mc Namara and I was diagnosed 9 years ago aged just 50 with dementia. At the age of just 50 I was offered a carer, you can only imagine my response at the time!! A Carer?? To do what?? I am more than capable (At the time) to do this, that and the other, why in God’s name would I need a carer ?? And so, the conversation went on and on with my wife for three years, until one day I walked in and caught her weeping, she was absolutely exhausted, not with so much the physical side of things, but the mental side of things. This means all the times when I thought the whole world was wrong, and I was right, when it turned out to be the other way around thanks to my dementia.
That was six years ago and boy how things have changed since ……………
I have to say the first three carers were an absolute nightmare, was I too picky?? was I expecting too much?? I don’t think so, but I am a person who speaks his mind, as many will tell you and I knew I had to trust the carer as well as like them. Eventually along came “John” and we clicked straight away, we were about the same age, and had the same interests, so important to get this right. After about twelve months John decided to move onto higher things, I was happy for him as he was a family man and better money meant so much to him, but I was still devastated and explained to him if things didn’t work out?? Sorry but there was no coming back, I don’t do that kind of thing, once it’s over it over and time to move on.
It took me a while, and two more carers before “Peter” came along and I must say I had reservations early on but we soon settled into a routine and have now also become the best of friends.
Please, when you are thinking about having a carer for someone, please make sure, if at all possible they have a say in who, and please “” PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO MATCH THEM UP AS BEST YOU CAN. PETER AND I BOTH LOVE FISHING, SO NO PRIZES FOR GUESSING WHERE WE GO EVERY WEEK!!!
He is also the same age and has the same likes, it’s so important as then you have so many things to chat about. In these days of direct payments please remember it’s YOU who are paying for a carer so as you would in any other job role, please choose carefully. It will make things so much better all round for all.
Best wishes, Norrms Mc Namara
Founder of Global Purple Angel dementia awareness Campaign